Rambling thoughts on marriage

So, this post is going to be a bit different than most, more of a spewing of raw thoughts. It seems like we have had more and more friends getting divorced lately, and our good friends are now going through it themselves. It's so weird to think that just a few months ago, we were all hanging out together, and they were a unit... we spoke to them jointly, and their lives were intertwined. His plans were her plans, her future, his. Now all of those 10 years together are done and she has the kids for a few nights a week, then he does. It's so sad and obviously very sobering to me, and I just can't get it out of my head. I wonder what lead up to it, or what was the final straw. What, if anything, could have been done to avoid it? I married Dave not only for a lifetime, but forever after, so he's not getting out that easily. All joking aside, every marriage has ups and downs, and times when you feel closer and further apart. I have been making a little list in my head of things I can do to bring us closer when we drift, as inevitably happens. I'm no expert, but here are a few things I've tried in the past and know work for me:

• Do small things for him like when we were dating (leave a note, surprise, gift, or fun text).
• Date night - go out or stay in and play games together (we love Skip-bo and the Wii).
  
• Remember what attracted me to him when we were dating and make a new list of now.
• Look for at least one way to serve him every day, whether it's a little thing or a big thing.
• Think of the challenges he's facing and pray for him.
  
• Re-live the memories of those dating days when I couldn't wait to see him every day and the fun things we did together and all of the random places we went in Provo.
• Write a list of all of his good traits and qualities, then try to add to it each day that week.
• Make questions for him to answer - anything from what he'd buy if he had an extra $1,000 to things that make him happy or sad, to goals... anything. The more talking, the better.
  
• Might be a bit morbid, but this one is the most powerful for me: imagine he's terminally ill or even already gone, and imagine how much I'd miss him. I think of all of the little things he does or is, and how it would leave such a huge hole in my life without him. It helps me hang on to the time we do have together now, and helps keep dumb little things in perspective.

Anyway, like I said, it's a bit random, but it has been on my mind a lot. There is nothing more satisfying and rewarding than a close, healthy relationship with your spouse. I am so glad I married Dave and love the life we are making together. I hope I use this post again as reference when I forget that, and hope you can use it when you need it too. Here's to happily ever after!